2011. hai gue nulis blog lagi

Desember tahun ini gue 17 tahun. gue pgn bgt org yg special skrg tetep ada sampe umur gue segitu bahkan selamanya. tmn tmn gue yg lain masih pada 16 tahun, berarti gue tua. org pasti mikir semakin tua semakin banyak pengalaman, ya bener.. makin kesini makin banyak yang gue dapet. manusia gak pernah puas, dapet ini minta itu, dikasih itu mau yg lebih. Gue dpt sedikit rasa sayang dr bokap gak pernah minta yg lebih karna sedikitpun rasa sayang yg gue dapet itu udah bikin gue puas bgt sebagai manusia.
Dulu beda sm sekarang, tapi kayanya sama aja. Sama sama masih harus berusaha ngedapetin kasih sayang lo. gue blm kuat buat nyari kasih syg lo sendiri, gue masih terlalu cengeng kalo usaha gue gagal. hati gue didalem, ketutup banyak organ, gak bakal ada yg liat apalagi tau apa yg gua rasa kecuali gue ngumbar semuanya didepan banyak org. gimana sedihnya gue ngeliat sesuatu yg seharusnya bisa gue dapetin bukan cuma ber-andai andai. tmn tmn gue bilang keadaan bisa berubah, pasti! tapi semakin gue coba buat nunggu, yg ada gue cuma nunggu sesuatu yg sebenernya gak pasti. ujung ujungnya, Give Up:)
Mungkn disaat gue nyari syg lo, lo pergi. tp disaat gue udah capek lo baru dateng. Keburu males.
gue iri deh.. gue pgn bgt tmn gue ada yg bilang 'gue iri del sama lo' kalo gue cerita ttg bokap gue kaya gue yg selalu iri setiap tmn tmn gue cerita tentang papanya. Tapi apa jg yg mau gue ceritain? kayanya gue gak pernah punya moment indah sm bokap, sekalipun gue cerita ttg bokap gue ke tmn tmn yg ada mereka malah nangis bukan iri. Capeknya lebih dari disuruh keliling lapangan 20x kalo telat dibanding capek nahan senyum setiap denger mereka cerita ttg papanya. Kenapa gue gak bisa ngerasain itu.. kenapa gue cuma bisa ngerasain gimana rasanya disayang seorang ayah cuma lewat cerita orang.. Gue pgn ikut ngerasain hal hal yg belom pernah ada dicatetan hidup gue selama 16 tahun ini. Gak perlu susah susah nyari kasih sayang bokapnya karna emang itu hak setiap anak tanpa dipaksa cari sm garis takdir hidupnya.
Tapikan gue beda, udah bukan sehari dua hari, sebulan dua bulan, tapi bertaun taun sendirian nyari cara buat ngedapetin itu. Padahal cuma kasih sayang, bukan uang yg gue mau. Kalo kalian mikir 'ih enak bgt deh lo dikasih uang trs, bisa beli ini beli itu' Tukeran yuk sm gue, bahagia itu gak dijamin pake uang.
Gue pgn lo bisa anggep peran lo penting dlm kelangsungan hidup gue, dan gue pgn lo termasuk orang yg bakal gue tulis kalo gue disuruh nulis siapa org yg paling gue sayang..
Gue jarang liat lo, jarang denger suara lo, jarang tau apa yg ada diotak lo. kalo uca mau dia jd yg pertama, apa lo jg mau jd yg pertama buat ngapus air mata gue kalo skrg gue nangis didepan lo?
Kita deket, tapi jauh. sama kaya hati kita, gak pernah ketemu, gak pernah nyapa, gak pernah mampir, gak pernah ngobrol, gak pernah tau satu sm lain. ada gak adanya gue sm aja, ada gak adanya lo sama aja, knp gitu ya?
Gue pgn ngungkapin apa yg gue rasa, tapi gak pernah bisa. mungkin karna gue gengsi, tapi setiap gue nyoba ngilangin gengsi gue respon lo gaenak, nyakitin bgt dihati.
Gimana ditempat kerja? Sibuk ya? bentar lg gue anniv 7bulan, sejauh ini peran uca buat gue bukan cuma pacar tp energi. kekuatan yg bisa diciptain tapi gak bisa dimusnahin. gak pernah ngira kalo gue bisa banyak belajar ngenal sosok seorang ayah dari dia dan bisa ngerasain syg yg gue cari selama ini dari lo. Gue tumbuh dewasa bukan jd anak kecil, skrg gue SMA, bukan tk yg bisanya cuma ngeja i-b-u makan nyanyi pulang. udah dpt banyak ilmu, udah ngerti arti i love you, dan gue berharap bisa baca tulisan itu dari lo.
Take care dad. semoga Allah selalu melindungi dan menjaga-mu, gimanapun itu, gue gak mau ada org yg sampe nyakitin lo.

Hai K!!!!!! Gue tau lo nunggu gue nulis ini.
Kita lahir dari keluarga yg berbeda, lahir dari rahim ibu yg berbeda, dari ayah yg berbeda, tumbuh dewasa dengan cara yg berbeda, belajar dari hal hal yg sewajarnya diajarin org tua dengan motivasi yg berbeda. sampe akhirnya gue mikir karna perbedaan itu yg nyatuin kita skrg. Kita gak bakal lepas, ttp nyatu, begitupun hati kita dgn keluarga kita.
Nyokap bokap kita superhero. Gue ngerti kok gimana rasanya kehilangan org yg seharusnya ngejaga kita digaris lurus walopun skrg udah belok belok, tapi gak patah, cuma bengkok. pasti ada cara nyembuhin semuanya, yaitu Doa.
Setiap airmata yg keluar, mereka keluar brg brg sm harapan. yakan? Gue iri loh waktu lo ngirim capture it ttg bokap lo, gue berharap bgt kalo semua ayah kaya gitu. bokap lo gak se-care bokap gue, gak se-peka bokap gue, mungkin skrg lo mikir 'apa yg harus di iri-in?' haha gue jg gatau knp. Sebisa bisanya lo bohong sm gue jg ttp aja gue tau. ngerti bgt dgn keadaan lo yg udah bertaun taun kaya gini. Masalah kita emang beda, tapi sama. Gue, lo.. sama sama pgn semua ini membaik&berujung bahagia.
Gue kenal lo lama, tp mungkin gak selama lo mendem ini semua ke temen temen lo. Efek gue dihidup lo jg mungkin gak segede rasa sedih lo. tapi gue bisa nutupin itu semua kalo lo percaya dan mau berbagi sepenuhnya sm gue.

I HOPE YOU KNOW

Words can't explain the love that i feel. this feeling i have that’s just so real. The touch of ur hand. The warmth of ur kiss. Theres not a single one that i want to miss. The happiness i feel laying in ur arms. Safe and secure, without any harm. The way you make me smile when i feel so dark. You always make me laugh, you know just what to do. The way you make me want you when i stare into your eyes. I could never feel this way with any other guy... seriously! With your arm tight around me i feel so close to you.
You brush my hair off my face and whisper 'i love you pin, i love you dell' I get really mad&we have a big fight. but you’ll still grab my hand and hold it real tight. I love everything 'about u and the love u show for me. I know deep inside my heart, that we'll always be. The only way I can explain this love is with everything u do.
Thanks so much for everything, And for that I’ll always love you GHAUSYA SAMARA..

Youre always on my mind and there when i need you most. when Im asleep I dream of you, when Im awake i think of you, when Im away i wish i could be with you, when Im sad you make me happy, when Im happy you make me happier, when Im alone you give me company, when I want to be loved you love me unconditionally.

Everytime i think of u takes me back to when we first met, darl you're so beautiful like a winter sunset, I will always remember it like it was yesterday, isn’t it amazing how the time has passed away, but now all we can do is look to the future and see where we’ll end up, no point looking back anymore because finding you was like winning the world cup!!!!!!!!!! I hope u understand where I’m coming from as life would have been so sad, but me finding you or you finding me, either way we’re together and that makes me so glad.. without you i would have been nothing and the world would have passed me by, then u came along&that was that, I fell for the twinkle in your eye. may you please stay the way we're forever and never change a thing, as when im with you i feel tingly inside because of all the joy you bring.

I never thought that I could love again:) i thought it was a joke but i wake up with smile.. i saw ur face, i feel your touch and heard your voice telling that you will take care of me.. its a wonderful feeling knowing that you love me, so wonderful to be in love. I never loved like this before. i want to share my life with you, i'll take care of you, i want to love you over and over again.....non stop loving you..

If I could have just one wish, i would wish to wake up everyday. to the sound of your breath on my neck, the warmth of your lips on my cheek, the touch of your fingers on my skin, and the feel of your heart beating with mine.. Knowing that I could never find that feeling with anyone other than you.

Now you complete my happiness, as I feel comfortable with you, in times like that I want to always hug and kiss you. when I feel alone, you came to bring a smile and make a lot of happiness. when I feel guilty, you came to bring good news that I was the only woman who was in a world full of lies. when I cry with a tear, you come and give a rose and say 'these roses will not wilt and the fragrance will not go away until I can give you a new flower'

As we grow older together, as we continue to change with age, there's one thing that will never change....
I will always keep falling in love with you -13

Only one in the world. Just one of a kind. GS's mine

I drowned in a wistful moment, time were reluctant to pass. I promise to shut the door of my heart. either for whoever it was..
The more I see of the past, increasingly erratic heart, but one ray light up my soul-->when I see your smile..:) And you were present, changes everything. Become more beautiful...
I love you brought sky high, makes me feel perfect and make me to live life.
Together with you forever and ever.
you're the best for me!! I now want to stop time, let you near me. Love flowers are blooming in my soul and I pick one for you.
I entrust all my heart to you, my love... 1 promise, you're the one who last me.
Hello. I love you. You dont need to give me money, invited me to go to the beach, paris, Bali or other places. I'd rather you make me happy with you what it is. provided that it is sincere, from ur heart..
if I gave you the knife doesnt mean I want you to kill yourself.
if I gave you the gun doesnt mean I want you to shoot yourself.
if I gave you a pack of cigarettes smoked doesnt mean I'm telling you..
if I say 'GAPAPA' doesnt mean I will let you continue like this..
I'm here, 4 you, to love, to care and tries to give the best for you...

i cannot fly as high as you can, if you give me time, i may learn to fly as high as you and then we can fly together..

eki tambah n. eki&ekin

heyyyyou..bang ekin udah sembuh loh, udah bisa bikinin mie lagi, bisa bikinin es teh lg, semoga ttp kygini ya..sng bisa liat b.ekin bisa duduk brg sm kita, gamau liat b.ekin tdr didepan nungguin kita lg. kita gk kmn2 kok, mungkin wkt itu kita cm lg butuh wkt buat nyari cara buat balikin kebaikan b.ekin...skrg kita udah brg2 lg, udah nemu gmn caranya:)

eky andhika!! msh inget gak chat yg ini? forever&never die... jgn bandel ya ki, jagain nyokap lo. jgn kabur2an terus, lo pernah janji sm gue kalo lo bakal berubah, lo ga buruk ko. lo baik, ga ada salahnya kan kalo lo nyoba buat lebih baik lg? gue selalu dukung lo ki, selalu doain lo tanpa lo minta. gue pgn liat lo sukses, pgn liat bokap nyokap lo bangga sm lo, bukan cm lo yg harus banggain mereka, mgkn skrg mereka blm nunjukin kalo mrk bangga sm lo. tapi gue, kita....bakal setiap wkt nunjukin kalo gue bangga sm lo, gue bangga pny tmn sehebat lo.

19 november 2010

hallo. ini della ghesa niar dan randuy, kita semua cabut loh.. tapi bukan kita doang, di wrng masih rame, skrg kita diwarnet samping warning. trs apaan lagi? gatau kata ghesa.
apaya kata niar.
beliin gorengan dong ghes....
gua laper nih pgn molen del sumpah.
kita beneran ke puncak del? gatau ni
jangan ditulis, ini beneran del.
OYA!!!!!!!!!!!! GET WELL SOON BANG EKIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
udah gini doang?
eh bayangin deh kalo nanti wrng bnr2 kosong, 'gabisa bayangin' kata niar.
eh bayangin deh kalo nanti wrng pindah ke surga, kita masih mau kesana gak? 'jemput gua ya' kata ghesa.
eh bayangin deh kalo nanti wrng berubah jd warna pink. 'warpink dong? unyu bet unyu' kata ghesa lagi.
randul jgn rese dah dul!
yah kipeng balik sama tejo, kata ghesa.

gua kangen deh masa masa dulu kita ke wrng pulang sekolah, dari mp maksudnya.
eh laper gaksih? bgt.

della; eh gua mau bunga lagi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ghesa; gua mau makan!!!!!!!!!!
niar; eh cina kenapadeh sekarang?
randul; gua laper tapi gapunya duit

ok guys, see you

Thanks for helping me open my heart and unite my heart right again, i dont want you to be like what i want, i accept you whoever and whatever your background. I dont care what everybody says about you. Excess or shortage of the first thing you're not for me, but one that so the first thing for me is how i can always make you happy in my way................ *these hands i and caca